Moving Forward: Overcoming Overthinking by Trusting Yourself
Hey there, I'm Benjamin Adkins, ACC, CEO and Principal Coach at Benjamin J Adkins LLC Coaching Solutions. As a 35-year-old black gay man, I’ve experienced my fair share of overthinking. Today, I want to have a heart-to-heart with you about how to move past it by trusting yourself.
I’ve always been someone who likes to be in control, planning meticulously what I believe I want and need in life. This tendency has led me to overthink, especially in my dating and professional life. Much of this overthinking stemmed from past traumas in the workplace and relationships. But through therapy and self-actualization, I’ve learned to overcome this by making choices and trusting myself.
Building Trust in Yourself
Trusting yourself is crucial to overcoming overthinking. It’s about believing that you have done the work and that you can make decisions that make sense for you. Let's dive deeper into how to cultivate this mindset in different areas of your life.
1. Self-Awareness
The first step to building trust in yourself is developing self-awareness. This means understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations. Reflect on your past experiences—both successes and failures—and consider what you learned from them. By recognizing your patterns and behaviors, you can begin to understand why you make certain choices and how to improve your decision-making process.
2. Self-Compassion
Overthinking often stems from a fear of making mistakes or facing criticism. Practicing self-compassion involves being kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that failure is a part of the learning process. By treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend, you can reduce the fear and anxiety that fuel overthinking.
3. Setting Clear Goals
Having clear, well-defined goals can help reduce overthinking by giving you a roadmap to follow. When you know what you’re aiming for, it’s easier to make decisions that align with your objectives. Break your goals down into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way. This will not only build your confidence but also reinforce your ability to make effective choices.
4. Taking Action
One of the most effective ways to build trust in yourself is to take action. Start by making small decisions quickly, and gradually move on to bigger ones. The more you practice making choices, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to handle the outcomes. Remember, inaction can lead to more overthinking. Even if you make a mistake, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.
5. Learning from Experience
Reflect on your past decisions and the outcomes they produced. What worked well? What didn’t? By analyzing your experiences, you can identify patterns and make more informed choices in the future. Keep a journal of your decisions and their results to track your progress and reinforce your learning.
Applying Self-Trust in Different Areas of Life
Now that we’ve explored how to build trust in yourself, let’s look at how to apply this mindset in various areas of your life.
In Relationships
Overthinking in relationships can lead to unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings. I’ve been there, doubting every move, wondering if I’m making the right choices. Trusting yourself means believing in your ability to communicate effectively and make choices that benefit both you and your partner. Reflect on your values and priorities, and make decisions that align with them. Every relationship is unique, so trust your judgment to navigate yours.
In Your Professional Life
In our professional lives, the fear of making the wrong choice can hold us back. I used to overthink every career move, haunted by past workplace traumas. Trusting yourself means recognizing your skills, experiences, and insights. Whether it’s taking on a new project, applying for a promotion, or switching careers, trust that you have what it takes to succeed. Make decisions based on your goals and aspirations, not on the fear of failure.
As a Leader or Entrepreneur
As a leader or entrepreneur, your ability to make decisions is constantly tested. Overthinking can slow down progress and affect your team's morale. Trusting yourself in leadership roles involves having confidence in your vision and strategies. It’s about making informed choices and being willing to adapt when necessary. Your team looks to you for direction, so trust yourself to lead them effectively.
The Power of Choice
To move forward, we have to make choices and trust that we have done the work. Embracing this mindset can significantly shift how we approach decisions, allowing us to move past the paralysis of overthinking into a space of action and growth.
I had to get real with myself, checking my actions and being honest about my fears and motivations. Once I did that, it became easier to trust my decisions. Start small—make quick decisions on minor things to build your confidence. Reflect on your past successes and the steps you took to achieve them. Use these reflections to reinforce your self-trust.
Moving Forward Together
Making choices and trusting yourself is a continuous journey. It’s about believing in your ability to handle outcomes, whatever they may be. By developing this mindset, you’ll find yourself moving forward with greater ease and confidence in all areas of your life.
If you’re ready to take the next step in overcoming overthinking and building self-trust, I invite you to schedule a free chemistry meeting with me. Let’s work together to unlock your potential and achieve your goals. Visit www.benjaminjadkins.com to get started.
Stay agile,
Benjamin Adkins, ACC & Dr. Lanecha Conner, LCPC