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Imagine we're sitting comfortably on a couch, each with our favorite beverage maybe coffee, tea, or a glass of wine. That's exactly the kind of relaxed, open, and authentic space I strive to create in my coaching practice. One of the most powerful ways I've found to help leaders have better conversations is through something called "Fair Process." Derived from restorative practices, Fair Process isn't just about fairness it's about creating conversations where everyone feels heard and valued.<h3>Fair Process is built on three simple yet powerful principles:</h3>Engagement: Inviting everyone involved to share their thoughts and genuinely listening without interruption or judgment. Explanation: Taking the time to clearly communicate the reasons behind decisions, so everyone feels respected and understood. Expectation Clarity: Making sure everyone leaves the conversation knowing exactly what comes next, removing ambiguity and building trust.In agile leadership, conversations often move quickly, and it can feel challenging to pause and truly listen. But when you intentionally apply Fair Process, you create psychological safety a space where people aren't afraid to speak up, share ideas, or even disagree.<h3>Here's how it might look in a 1:1 conversation:</h3>Engagement Example: You might start by saying, "I'd really like to hear your perspective first. What's on your mind about this situation?" This sets the stage for genuine dialogue. Explanation Example: After listening, clearly share your thinking: "Here's why I made this decision let me walk you through my thought process." Expectation Clarity Example: End your conversation with clarity, saying something like, "Just to make sure we're aligned, here's what we'll both do next. Does that feel clear to you?"I remember coaching a leader who often felt frustrated by team conflicts. After introducing Fair Process, he started genuinely listening to his team's concerns before responding. Not only did tensions decrease, but his team began proactively sharing ideas, leading to stronger collaboration and significantly improved morale.<h3>Reflection Questions:</h3>Can you recall a recent conversation where applying Fair Process could have led to a better outcome? What might shift in your relationships or team dynamics if you intentionally paused more to truly listen? Before your next important conversation, take a moment to center yourself and commit to listening without interruption. Practice paraphrasing what you've heard to ensure understanding: "What I hear you saying is... Did I get that right?" In my experience coaching leaders, this approach transforms relationships. It builds mutual respect, deepens trust, and creates a space where meaningful dialogue thrives.So, think about your own conversations how might embracing Fair Process make a difference in your leadership and the trust you build with your teams?By Benjamin Adkins, ACC

Pause, Listen, Lead: The Power of Fair Process in Agile Leadership

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<h3>What Does Resilience Look Like for You Right Now?</h3>By Benjamin J. Adkins, ACCAs a certified professional coach with 15+ years in corporate America, I work with high-achieving professionals who are stretched thin. Time and time again, I see Black people especially Black women leading, giving, and building, often without the space or support to replenish themselves. My job as a coach is to help you manage these demands with intention, agility, and clarity.So, how do you protect your peace and power when everything around you demands more? How do you cultivate resilience without overextending yourself?The Stretch: Where Are You Overextended? Before we talk about solutions, take a moment to reflect:Where in your life do you feel the most stretched or challenged? What would it look like to reclaim that space for yourself? We often hear that resilience means being "strong," "unbreakable," or "pushing through." But real resilience—the kind that sustains you—is about knowing when to shift, pause, or reclaim your time. That’s where personal agility comes in.Agility in Action: How Black Professionals Stay Grounded In my coaching practice, I guide Black leaders, entrepreneurs, and change-makers through powerful strategies for staying agile and protecting energy. Here’s what works:✅ Boundaries with grace – Saying “no” without guilt and standing firm in your needs. ✅ Rest as a strategy, not a reward – Prioritizing rest before burnout hits. ✅ Intentional community – Surrounding yourself with people who refill your cup. ✅ Reclaiming joy – Making space for what brings you happiness, unapologetically.<blockquote>What Support Do You Need?</blockquote> One of the biggest barriers to personal agility is isolation. Many high-achievers feel they have to figure it all out alone. But agility isn’t about doing everything yourself—it’s about adapting, pivoting, and seeking support when needed.Ask yourself: What kind of support do you wish you had more of?<h3>Your Next Move: A Challenge for the Week</h3> Agility is built in small, intentional shifts. Here’s your challenge: ➡ Identify one thing you can stop, delegate, or delay this week to reclaim your energy.It could be a task at work, an obligation you feel pressured into, or even a self-imposed expectation. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to release it.Personal agility isn’t about working harder—it’s about moving smarter and protecting what fuels you. I wrote my book, Personal Agility and Self-Management, as a practical guide to help high-achievers like you create balance and reclaim control. If this resonates, grab a copy and dive deeper into these strategies.<h3>Let’s Work Together</h3> I’m accepting new coaching clients. If you’re ready to deepen your personal agility, reclaim your time, and step into your power with intention, let’s connect.📅 Schedule a chemistry meeting: <a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/benadkinscoachingsolutions/chemistry_meeting" href="https://calendly.com/benadkinscoachingsolutions/chemistry_meeting" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Calendar Link</a>📧 Email: info@benjaminjadkins.comYour peace and power are worth protecting. Let’s make sure you have the tools to do just that.

Sustaining Personal Agility in Times of Uncertainty: Protecting Our Peace and Power

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Life is a series of shifts and pivots, whether in your career, relationships, or personal development. Understanding when and how to pivot is crucial for growth and happiness. As an ACC certified Agile life and leadership coach, I’ve seen firsthand how pivotal moments can redefine our paths.<h3>Recognizing the Need for a Shift</h3>Professional Pivots: In your career, stagnation can be a clear sign it's time for a change. Are you feeling unchallenged or unfulfilled? Have your values shifted, or do you see a mismatch between your goals and your company's direction? These are indicators that a pivot may be necessary. Moving towards roles that align with your current aspirations can reinvigorate your career and set you on a path to success.Relationship Changes: Similar to your professional life, relationships require reciprocation and growth. Whether it’s a friendship, romantic relationship, or family connection, both parties need to contribute equally. Reflect on the health of your relationships. Are your needs being met? Are you valued and respected? If not, it may be time to reevaluate these connections. Remember, emotional decisions can cloud your judgment. Instead, strive for objectivity by considering your long-term well-being.<h3>Objective Decision-Making with Agile Principles</h3>Agile principles aren’t just for project management; they can guide your personal and professional shifts. Here’s a formula to help you pivot effectively:Evaluate: Regularly assess your current situation. In Agile, this is akin to a sprint review. Ask yourself, "What is working? What isn’t? Where do I see myself in the future?" Reflect: Reflect on feedback and outcomes. In relationships and career, feedback is invaluable. What have you learned from your experiences? How have others responded to your actions? Plan: Set clear, achievable goals. In Agile, we call this backlog refinement. Prioritize what matters most to you, whether it’s job satisfaction, personal growth, or mutual respect in relationships. Execute: Take actionable steps towards your goals. This might mean applying for new jobs, having honest conversations with your partner, or seeking professional development opportunities. Review and Adjust: Continuously review your progress and be willing to adapt. Life is dynamic, and being flexible is key. If something isn’t working, don’t be afraid to pivot again.<h3>The Importance of Knowing What Matters Most</h3>When starting a new job, project, or relationship, it’s essential to understand what is most important to you. Having a clear understanding of your values and priorities allows you to stay grounded, even when things change. This clarity helps you navigate new situations more effectively and provides a touchstone to return to when you feel off track.In relationships, both professional and romantic, circumstances may evolve. However, by remembering what is most important to you, you can use the Agile guide to get back on track. Your core values and priorities serve as a compass, helping you make decisions that align with your true self and long-term goals.Making the Shift When you decide to pivot, ensure you’re doing so with a clear mind. Avoid making decisions in the heat of the moment. Instead, give yourself time to process your thoughts and emotions. Discuss your plans with trusted friends, mentors, or a coach who can provide an objective perspective. Life’s pivots are inevitable, but navigating them with an Agile mindset can make the process smoother and more rewarding. By staying objective and following a structured approach, you can make informed decisions that enhance your professional and personal life.If you’re ready to explore these shifts and want guidance, I’m here to help. Visit benjaminjadkins.com to schedule a chemistry meeting. Together, we can uncover what truly matters to you and chart a course for success.Stay Agile,By Benjamin Adkins, ACC, Certified Agile Life and Leadership Coach

When to Pivot: Professional and Personal Shifts

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Hey there, I'm Benjamin Adkins, ACC, CEO and Principal Coach at Benjamin J Adkins LLC Coaching Solutions. As a 35-year-old black gay man, I’ve experienced my fair share of overthinking. Today, I want to have a heart-to-heart with you about how to move past it by trusting yourself.I’ve always been someone who likes to be in control, planning meticulously what I believe I want and need in life. This tendency has led me to overthink, especially in my dating and professional life. Much of this overthinking stemmed from past traumas in the workplace and relationships. But through therapy and self-actualization, I’ve learned to overcome this by making choices and trusting myself.<figure id="figure-s0n6791ig8lwwayijd"><img id="s0n6791ig8lwwayijd" src="https://cdn.durable.co/shutterstock/73DjjAvvAJdvCScz6XDZylZDrlLr3uMnUrre0UbH5l9gxaBGSfw1UAqZ3TD4eOw4.jpeg" alt="Attractive black young woman using a laptop while relaxing on a sofa at home" title="Attractive black young woman using a laptop while relaxing on a sofa at home" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/shutterstock/73DjjAvvAJdvCScz6XDZylZDrlLr3uMnUrre0UbH5l9gxaBGSfw1UAqZ3TD4eOw4.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Building Trust in Yourself </h3>Trusting yourself is crucial to overcoming overthinking. It’s about believing that you have done the work and that you can make decisions that make sense for you. Let's dive deeper into how to cultivate this mindset in different areas of your life.1. Self-AwarenessThe first step to building trust in yourself is developing self-awareness. This means understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations. Reflect on your past experiences—both successes and failures—and consider what you learned from them. By recognizing your patterns and behaviors, you can begin to understand why you make certain choices and how to improve your decision-making process.2. Self-CompassionOverthinking often stems from a fear of making mistakes or facing criticism. Practicing self-compassion involves being kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that failure is a part of the learning process. By treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend, you can reduce the fear and anxiety that fuel overthinking.3. Setting Clear GoalsHaving clear, well-defined goals can help reduce overthinking by giving you a roadmap to follow. When you know what you’re aiming for, it’s easier to make decisions that align with your objectives. Break your goals down into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way. This will not only build your confidence but also reinforce your ability to make effective choices.4. Taking ActionOne of the most effective ways to build trust in yourself is to take action. Start by making small decisions quickly, and gradually move on to bigger ones. The more you practice making choices, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to handle the outcomes. Remember, inaction can lead to more overthinking. Even if you make a mistake, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.5. Learning from ExperienceReflect on your past decisions and the outcomes they produced. What worked well? What didn’t? By analyzing your experiences, you can identify patterns and make more informed choices in the future. Keep a journal of your decisions and their results to track your progress and reinforce your learning.<h3>Applying Self-Trust in Different Areas of Life</h3>Now that we’ve explored how to build trust in yourself, let’s look at how to apply this mindset in various areas of your life.In RelationshipsOverthinking in relationships can lead to unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings. I’ve been there, doubting every move, wondering if I’m making the right choices. Trusting yourself means believing in your ability to communicate effectively and make choices that benefit both you and your partner. Reflect on your values and priorities, and make decisions that align with them. Every relationship is unique, so trust your judgment to navigate yours.In Your Professional LifeIn our professional lives, the fear of making the wrong choice can hold us back. I used to overthink every career move, haunted by past workplace traumas. Trusting yourself means recognizing your skills, experiences, and insights. Whether it’s taking on a new project, applying for a promotion, or switching careers, trust that you have what it takes to succeed. Make decisions based on your goals and aspirations, not on the fear of failure.As a Leader or EntrepreneurAs a leader or entrepreneur, your ability to make decisions is constantly tested. Overthinking can slow down progress and affect your team's morale. Trusting yourself in leadership roles involves having confidence in your vision and strategies. It’s about making informed choices and being willing to adapt when necessary. Your team looks to you for direction, so trust yourself to lead them effectively.The Power of ChoiceTo move forward, we have to make choices and trust that we have done the work. Embracing this mindset can significantly shift how we approach decisions, allowing us to move past the paralysis of overthinking into a space of action and growth.I had to get real with myself, checking my actions and being honest about my fears and motivations. Once I did that, it became easier to trust my decisions. Start small—make quick decisions on minor things to build your confidence. Reflect on your past successes and the steps you took to achieve them. Use these reflections to reinforce your self-trust.Moving Forward TogetherMaking choices and trusting yourself is a continuous journey. It’s about believing in your ability to handle outcomes, whatever they may be. By developing this mindset, you’ll find yourself moving forward with greater ease and confidence in all areas of your life.If you’re ready to take the next step in overcoming overthinking and building self-trust, I invite you to schedule a free chemistry meeting with me. Let’s work together to unlock your potential and achieve your goals. Visit www.benjaminjadkins.com to get started.Stay agile,Benjamin Adkins, ACC &amp; Dr. Lanecha Conner, LCPC

Moving Forward: Overcoming Overthinking by Trusting Yourself

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Imagine we're sitting together on a comfortable couch, a warm cup of coffee or tea in hand. You're here because, like me, you've spent years working on yourself in therapy. Now, you're stepping into a new chapter without that structured support, and it's both thrilling and daunting. You might find yourself wondering, "Do I trust myself? Have I really done the work?"<figure id="figure-804r9bmxjqlwi6dte9"><img id="804r9bmxjqlwi6dte9" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1494883759339-0b042055a4ee?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw5OXx8QmxhY2slMjBwZW9wbGV8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzE2NDAzNjc4fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="person in black adidas cap sitting on bench writing on notebook" title="person in black adidas cap sitting on bench writing on notebook" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1494883759339-0b042055a4ee?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw5OXx8QmxhY2slMjBwZW9wbGV8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzE2NDAzNjc4fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Let's talk about that. It's natural to question your progress and feel a bit unsure. But remember, every challenge you face is a bridge you can cross, even if there are fears lurking underneath. I'm here to help you see that you have the strength to keep moving forward.<h3>Embracing the Fear:</h3>It's perfectly okay to feel scared when the safety net of therapy is no longer there. Stepping into this new phase of your life can feel overwhelming. There will be times when you doubt your progress. This fear is a part of your journey. The goal isn't to eliminate it but to embrace it, letting it guide you toward continued growth. Your healing journey is ongoing, involving daily choices that align with your values, especially when it comes to letting new people into your life.<h3>The Importance of Trust:</h3>One of the most significant lessons I've learned, and one that I share with my clients, is the importance of trust. Trusting yourself and others can be incredibly challenging, especially if past experiences have left you wary. It's tempting to build walls and control every aspect of your interactions to prevent getting hurt. However, true growth comes from learning to trust. You have to believe that the work you've done has prepared you to handle whatever comes your way.<h3>Three Tips for Enhancing Personal Agility</h3>Daily Self-Check-Ins: Begin each day with a moment of reflection. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling today? What are my goals? What do I need to focus on?" This practice helps you stay connected with your inner self and address any doubts or fears early on.Weekly Retrospectives: Just like in Agile coaching, conduct weekly retrospectives with yourself. Reflect on what went well, what didn’t, and what you can improve. This practice keeps you grounded and continuously evolving in your approach to life's challenges.Trust and Let Go: Practice trusting yourself and others. Let go of the need to control every outcome. Understand that not everyone will hurt you and that you have the resilience to handle setbacks. Trust in your ability to make the right decisions and learn from any mistakes.<figure id="figure-4j56qei31lwi6hh20"><img id="4j56qei31lwi6hh20" src="https://cdn.durable.co/shutterstock/1ZjSlxgXTTugxeCXaKdxaxcu81Ei5oZC2OInWUjTwTkzvQhKlPEEnrxIhYBk06qC.jpeg" alt="Close up self portrait of a beautiful african american woman taking a selfie" title="Close up self portrait of a beautiful african american woman taking a selfie" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/shutterstock/1ZjSlxgXTTugxeCXaKdxaxcu81Ei5oZC2OInWUjTwTkzvQhKlPEEnrxIhYBk06qC.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Being alone and learning to trust and depend on yourself can be both empowering and challenging. It's difficult to let people in when you can't control their actions. However, by trusting the work you've done and embracing personal agility, you can navigate these challenges successfully. Remember, the healing journey is continuous, and every day brings an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Keep checking in with yourself, trust the process, and know that you have the strength to face any situation.I hope these tips help you as much as they've helped me. Let's continue this journey of healing and growth together. If you're looking for more personalized guidance and support, I'd love to connect with you. Visit <a href="http://www.benjaminjadkins.com" data-mce-href="http://www.benjaminjadkins.com">www.benjaminjadkins.com</a> to learn more and sign up for a free chemistry meeting. Let's explore how we can work together to achieve your goals and navigate your journey with confidence.By Benjamin Adkins, ACC - Certifed Agile Life &amp; Leadership Coach

Trusting Yourself After Therapy: A Personal Coaching Session

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In the whirlwind of modern life, it's easy to feel lost and overwhelmed. Between work, relationships, personal goals, and daily chores, keeping everything in check can seem like an impossible task. But what if there was a way to bring order to the chaos?Enter Scrum methodology—a versatile framework not just for software development but for life itself. In this article, we'll explore how you can apply Scrum principles to various aspects of your life, from your romantic relationships to managing your thoughts and making strategic decisions.<h3>Understanding Scrum Methodology</h3>Before diving into practical applications, let's revisit the core components of Scrum:Sprints: Time-boxed periods for focused work (e.g., 2-4 weeks). Backlog: A prioritized list of tasks or goals. Daily Stand-ups: Brief meetings to discuss progress and challenges. Retrospectives: Reflections on what went well and what needs improvement.<h3>Applying Scrum to Your Personal Life</h3><figure id="figure-qkxxp6838lv4h3lsr"><img id="qkxxp6838lv4h3lsr" src="https://cdn.durable.co/shutterstock/14mfhfH6i7uE0eqw2zm3NRiNbXWlIEQLB1oJPWboe5TL58zORauYQ48bys4vyx79.jpeg" alt="Young african couple in casual clothes choosing vegetables and fruits in grocery department of the supermarket, man is holding shopping basket" title="Young african couple in casual clothes choosing vegetables and fruits in grocery department of the supermarket, man is holding shopping basket" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>1. Personal Backlog: Prioritize Your Life - Start by creating a personal backlog—a list of tasks, goals, and ideas across different areas of your life (e.g., work, relationships, hobbies). Prioritize them based on urgency, importance, or emotional impact.2. Managing Your Romantic Life with Scrum - Set Relationship Goals: Define what you want from your relationship and discuss it with your partner. Plan Romantic Sprints: Schedule regular date nights or activities to nurture your relationship. Hold Relationship Retrospectives: Reflect on what's working, what's not, and how you can improve together. 3. Organizing Your Thoughts and Ideas - Capture Ideas: Whenever you have a new idea or thought, jot it down. Prioritize Ideas: Review your list regularly and prioritize ideas that align with your goals. Execute in Sprints: Choose a few ideas to focus on each sprint and work towards bringing them to life.4. Managing Home Life - Household Backlog: Create a list of household chores, maintenance tasks, and improvements. Family Sprints: Assign tasks to family members and work together to get things done. Home Retrospectives: Reflect on what's working well and what needs attention in your home life.5. Making Faster, Strategic Decisions - Decision Backlog: List out decisions you need to make, big or small. Decision Sprints: Dedicate time to research, analyze, and make decisions within a set timeframe. Decision Retrospectives: Reflect on the outcomes of your decisions and learn from them.<h3>Benefits of Applying Scrum in Your Life</h3>Improved Organization: Keep track of tasks, goals, and ideas in a structured manner. Enhanced Productivity: Focus on priorities and work efficiently towards achieving your goals. Better Communication: Regular check-ins and reflections foster open communication, especially in relationships. Empowered Decision-Making: Make informed, strategic decisions with clarity and confidence.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3> Scrum methodology isn't just for the workplace; it's a powerful tool you can use to bring order, focus, and clarity to all areas of your life. By embracing Scrum principles and adapting them to your personal context, you can unfuck your life and create a life that's more organized, fulfilling, and aligned with your goals.So, are you ready to take control of your life with Scrum? Start today and watch as you transform chaos into harmony, one sprint at a time!By Benjamin Adkins, ACC, CSM, CSPOIn collaboration with Relicia Amos, CSM

Benjamin J Adkins LLC

Blog

Pause, Listen, Lead: The Power of Fair Process in Agile L...

Sustaining Personal Agility in Times of Uncertainty: Prot...

When to Pivot: Professional and Personal Shifts

Moving Forward: Overcoming Overthinking by Trusting Yourself

Trusting Yourself After Therapy: A Personal Coaching Session

Scrum Your Life: Unfucking Chaos and Embracing Agility in...